If a man is very careful in his examination of a woman and her behaviors, he just might get a “heads up,” a clue that she is interested in him. Here are three such situations:

1. If she asks for help in any way, such as, “Excuse me, could you help me figure the tip on this bar tab. I’ve never had one before. What about the tax? Is it still 15 percent, like for food?” She is expressing her feminine need to fulfill a man’s psychological need to feel like a hero to a woman. You’ll be attracted to her neediness and you’re your ability to solve a problem for her (and by her expressed appreciation).

2. If she simply stays within your vision field or returns again and again to that place, where you keep seeing her. She is making herself available to you, to whom she is specifically attracted, so that you can take the masculine action of approaching her and so she can practice the receptive, feminine role of responding to your masculine pursuit of her. She is confident that she is some combination of femininity, beauty, and classy sexiness that you will eventually notice and approach if you are the kind of man she hopes you are.

3. If she seems thoughtful at times, almost distracted, so that you might fear she was bored and drifting mentally during your date. Instead, she may well be seriously considering, even on a first date, how well you seem to match the characteristics of a guy she could be interested in longer-term. If, after this period of thoughtfulness, she reconnects with you and is upbeat and enthusiastic (or even just calm yet happy to be with you), you have passed some attraction test and are, at least until she gets to know you better, someone she has attraction for and wants to see again.

My questions for you:

• To women: What do you do, to flirt with men to let them know you are interested?

• To men: What is it that women do that you interpret as showing some interest in you?

Py Kim Conant is the author of “Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man” (Hunter House). Py has appeared on radio shows nationally. Py teaches a class on “How to Be Married in a Year” for the Learning Annex in Los Angeles and San Diego. Looking for relationship, dating and sex tips? Visit Py’s website at http://www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com