Here is one more interview article with Dr. Ava Cadell, a sexologist. This time you will find out what both men and women can learn out of my book, “Sex Secrets of an American Geisha.”

Py Kim Conant
Py Kim Conant describes herself as the first American Geisha. By that she means that she used the relationship wisdom of the Japanese geisha in her own pursuit of love and marriage. And she offers that wisdom that worked so well for her to all women through her book, “Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man.”


Dr. Ava: What inspired you to write “Sex Secrets of an American Geisha”?
Py: I was first inspired to write this book almost five years ago, when several of my single girlfriends asked me for tips about how they, too, could find and marry a Good Man. I thought that if I could help them, perhaps I could help even more women by writing a book. I had already published three books in Korean, so it didn’t seem too outrageous that I might able to publish one in English. So, I started writing and began to do some research, including starting a Korean Wives Club for Korean women married to American men. Part of my research was to read about the Japanese geisha and her Korean counterpart, the kisaeng. Over time I came to realize that much of what I was writing about could be related to what I came to call the Asian Geisha. The popularity of the Memoirs of a Geisha book and the impending movie further convinced me that I could reach lots of women with my helpful tips about sex and getting married if I positioned myself as the first American Geisha Older Sister, offering my suggestions to my readers (my Younger Sisters) so that they, too, could become American Geisha in pursuit of love and marriage in their lives.


Dr. Ava : What can women learn from your book?
Py: “Sex Secrets of an American Geisha” is meant to be a practical, how-to book to help a Western/American woman to use an Asian Geisha approach to finding love and marriage. Specifically, women can learn how to:
• Find a good man to date and marry
• “Be” and attract men
• Become more beautiful and feminine
• Become a feminine-ist, as well as a feminist
• For married women, how to add spark to their marriages
• Avoid all manipulation of men in their lives
Dr. Ava : How can men benefit from your book?
Py: Women should give “Sex Secrets of an American Geisha” to their Good Men, so the men can more completely understand their Good Women dates, fiancées, and wives. It will also help the men to know what the American Geisha women are looking for a man.
Dr. Ava : Where can we find out more and purchase your book?
Py: At Amazon.com and nine other stores. Click Here to Purchase

Dr. Ava : Find more details about Py and her book at www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com, Py Kim's MySpace , and click here to reach a longer description of Conant’s book

http://www.avacadell.com/assets/newsletter/2006/jul/confabulation.htm

I had an interview with Hitched magazine (Hitched Media, Inc), http://hitchedmag.com/, a new publishing company delivering service and lifestyle information to married couples.

Py Kim Conant
Author of "Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man" is anything but submissive.
BY APRIL Y. PENNINGTON

Notable: Come October 28th, Py, 43, will definitely raise eyebrows, skirts and men’s libidos with her decidedly un-PC book, Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man (pre-orders available on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com). Culling the practices of the Japanese geisha and the Korean equivalent, kisaeng, Korea-born Py attempts to teach American women the ways of the alluring Asian Geisha. Py's tips and suggestions will surely spark some lively conversation between you and your spouse.

[1] Some may perceive the contents of your book as training women to be submissive to men. Aren’t you reinforcing Asian female stereotypes? It’s only submissive in that you’re giving into the reality that men are visual animals with fragile egos. If you want to keep a relationship with a man, you have to give him what he wants. You have to go with the flow. Women need to only accept the stereotypes that are helpful or useful. If Asian women are perceived as nice, what’s wrong with that? Men approach you easily because of the stereotype. But the notion that Asian women are submissive, passive and materialistic, we just reject that.

[2] Why is it so important for married women to place their “beauty and sexy femininity” a continuing priority in their relationship? Men don’t want their women to change. They want their women to be the same as when they first got married. They want beauty, sexy femininity and a hot sexy relationship to keep the marriage invigorated. If your husband wants and desires you, that’s good. If you’re fat and gain weight, it’s bad.

[3] Isn’t it hard enough to live up to this ideal of perfection with supermodels and the genetically blessed? You say we should all be at our perfect weight yet you’re largely against plastic surgery. I emphasize in my book to look classy and natural. Plastic is not a natural look. We as women want to keep the best weight, that’s when you’re comfortable with your weight and proud of yourself. When you gain weight you get depressed and it affects your marriage. So sex is not good because you feel big and don’t want to take off the clothes and have sex anymore.

It’s a lie when men say they don’t care if the woman gains 50 pounds; we don’t want to hear the truth. When we ask if our butt looks big, we already know that it is, we just want to hear our husbands say no! Men don’t want to get in trouble by telling the truth.

[4] Why should women always credit their man for their orgasms, even when a vibrator’s in play? Men want to feel great, it’s ego boosting to do so. He wants to take the credit, even if you got the orgasm with the vibrator. He needs to feel masculine and regard the vibrator as a friend and not an enemy.

[5] You say women should be enthusiastically available to their man whenever he wants sex, but aren’t we allowed to not feel in the mood? We’re not sex machines, there’s no button they can press to instantly make us ready. And there will be many times where we don’t want to do it, but there’s a way to talk to him. Say “I’d love to have sex with you,” but then say what’s holding you back, like "I have a migraine," or whatever, but be truthful. Then tell him, “Can we have sex later,” or set a date in the near future. Finish by asking him if that’s okay. That way it’s his decision, not your decision and he doesn’t feel like he’s being pushed away by you. He will say "yes." Then since he waited for you, give him an extra treat like wearing a new thong panty—crotchless, silky—something that’s an incredible treat and is visual.

[6] The vast majority of your book covers what women should do in attracting, pleasing and keeping a man. What are a few things men should be doing for women? A husband should appreciate what their women can do for them, instead of taking them for granted. A woman should be treated like a queen, since she’s treating him like a king. Because we women need to hear it, tell her you love her and she’s beautiful, all the time. Tell her she’s the nicest woman in the world. You have to be sincere. You have to be totally, physically and emotionally faithful to your wife and not fucking around with other women. He has to please her sexually, enthusiastically and show her she’s special. Be nice to her and always listen to your wife—making her happy is a big part. And always keep your word.

[7] Those are some good tips for men, why don’t you focus on that equally? Maybe my second book will be what a man can do for a woman! But husbands should read this book too. You’ll see how to make a woman ejaculate and how to be sexually involved.

http://hitchedmag.com/article.php?id=42

I was 35. I had a bad breakup with my boyfriend of five years. I had to do something about my situation: I wanted to get married before I turned 40.

After reading more than 50 relationships and dating books, I learned that if I wanted to find a Good Man, I had to make being attractive and feminine a high priority for myself. I also came to realize that I had to be more passive and to learn to attract a man to me. I had to learn to attract, not to attack, men. I actually had to think about the kind of man I wanted, rather than finding myself ridiculously, quickly falling in love with any man who paid me any attention. I had been a tomboy, too aggressive in chasing after men.

I also had to change myself if I ever hoped to attract a man. Finally, I realized that instead of using all my energy to pursue a man, I needed to become attractive to a man and to let him pursue me. When I started to do something about my weight, my make-up and clothes, my acne, and my unfeminine ways, I noticed that men were paying me more attention. I needed to think more confidently about whom might be a good man for me.

As you develop yourself in your pursuit of love and marriage, I want you to avoid being called “an ugly duckling,” as one man yelled at me as he retreated from my frontal assault. Or, “not really a woman,” as another described me to my face. I want you to attract Good Men to you, not to have to fend off nasty men’s nasty comments.

Do you have any success story to attract men and keep your man? Would you like to share your story with me?

Py Kim Conant, Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man, Hunter House, October 28, 2006. Looking for relationship, dating and sex tips? Visit Py’s website at www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com

Unfortunately, even after that humiliating encounter in the library at age 23, I didn’t decide finally that it was time for me do something about my lack of beauty, sexiness, and femininity until I was 35 years old, a full twelve years after my humiliation in the library. I didn’t realize right away that I had to do something to help myself. I had been hurting myself by believing it didn’t matter how unattractive I was.

Even that rude slap in the face in the library and much more humiliation with other men until I was 35 (when Neil, my unenthusiastic boyfriend of five years, left me) somehow didn’t wake me up to the fact that my lack of beauty and sexy femininity was keeping me from the relationship success I so much wanted.

I had always thought that my best quality was my niceness, and that once I had forced myself on a man he would discount my obesity, lack of hair or clothing style, my acne, and my tomboyish ways. He would fall in love with my niceness, marry me, and we’d start a family. Of course, I was totally wrong and this fantasy of mine never came true because, in part, none of those twenty men ever cared to get close enough to me to discover my niceness.

It took me so many years to learn that most men want to be the hunter, not the hunted. After much (negative) personal experience and a lot of reading, I finally realized I had to attract a Good Man to me, not stalk and ambush that man, which had been my approach.

As I look back on those sad, desperate years, particularly between ages 30 and 35, I can’t believe how out of touch I was with the reality of men, especially to have bought into the untruth that only what was inside (my niceness) should be enough to find love and marriage with a good man.

Py Kim Conant, Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man, Hunter House, October 28, 2006. Looking for relationship, dating and sex tips? Visit Py’s website at www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com

It may not be politically correct to tell you that a woman should make herself beautiful, sexy, and feminine. However, if you don’t, then that nice, sweet, but unbeautiful, un-sexy, and unfeminine woman may spend many lonely, unhappy years being politically correct and unnoticed by most men.

I was terrible at finding a man who was good for me. Again and again I would chase after men. From the age of 20 until in hit 35, I had a bit of a feminist attitude. I was not shy and quiet. I approached men, initiated contact, and pursued them. But twenty of them-every one--- ran from me, avoided me, showed no interest in me.

It was 1986. I carried too many extra pounds on my 4-foot-9-inch frame. I paid little attention to my make-up, my hair or my clothes. One day at the city college library I saw a student I liked. We had often passed each other on campus, and said, “Hi.” On that rainy day, I walked over to him in the library and asked him if he could give me a ride home. He said to me, almost angrily, “Are you insane? Why do you think that I am interested in you? You don’t act like a woman. Why would I care to talk to you?” I was shocked. In that moment I was a total loser. I was insulted and hurt. What else could be a worse way to hurt a woman than to say, essentially, “You are not a woman”? But that was the truth in men’s eyes: I was not seen a woman, not noticed as a woman. My niceness didn’t impress the men. Inside, I knew I was a nice woman, but my outside appearance made men not even think of me as a woman. I was not a woman to men because I wasn’t dressing and acting like a woman and I was heavy and unattractive, not pretty, not sexy, and not feminine.

Py Kim Conant, the author of Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep a Man, from Hunter House, October 28, 2006. Looking for dating, sexuality, and relationship tips and secrets? Visit her website at www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com