In circulating chapters of my manuscript, "Sex Secrets of an American Geisha," for feedback, I sometimes was told that my advice made a woman too "submissive" to a man or to men generally. I can understand that point of view, but I disagree with it. My advice simply accepts the truth about (most) men:

* Men are visual and love beauty in a woman.
* Men are sexual and love sexiness in a woman.
* Men are masculine and love femininity in a woman.

By making yourself beautiful, sexy, and feminine for potential Good Men, you are only "being submissive" or "surrendering" to the realities of men and women and to what can help you attract those Good Men to you. I don't want to be too defensive here. In fact, rather than making you submissive, I believe my advice empowers you.

Beauty and a sexy femininity tend to give a woman confidence, more power, and greater control in finding love and marriage with a Good Man. Isn't this obvious to you? Don't you sense how beauty and a sexy femininity are your allies, your friends in seeking the happiness of love and marriage to a Good Man?

Go on a Fun and Exciting—Even Outrageous—Journey

The whole process of finding and marrying a man and then keeping your marriage alive and happy should be a fun experience. (Why do people think that it is so difficult to find a man, not just any man, but Mr. Right, your Prince Charming, a near-perfect-for-you man, a husband, your Good Man?) Do you want to have an enjoyable and exciting time or a difficult time finding your man? It depends on your attitude. I suggest we go on a fun and exciting—even outrageous—journey to attract appropriate men and then to choose and to keep your one Good Man for life.

The journey begins right here, as you read this page. Get ready to be outrageous! Relax. Loosen your bra straps and get ready for some feminine, hot, sexy Asian secrets for finding, marrying, and keeping your Good Man. Get ready to become an American Geisha.

I sometimes speak in a politically incorrect way. I have to be honest, frank, even outrageous with you. I can’t try to cover my little ass, saying politically correct things so that no one gets upset. I am not politically correct, but I am practically correct, suggesting you to do what works, what is practical, what makes you more beautiful, sexy, and feminine in order to attract and keep your own masculine Good Man.

I’ve dealt approvingly with some Asian Geisha stereotypes if I found them helpful. I’ve told you to be thin not fat, pretty not plain, accepting not confrontational. I’ve told you that in relationships men are simple, visual, sexual beings who do most anything to make you happy when you make them sexually happy.
Even as I have happily accepted some useful stereotypes of Asian Geisha and other women, if other stereotypes are not useful, I encouraged you to ignore or change them in your thinking or actions, as I did.

Still, some strict feminists have questioned my outrageous ideas and feminine and sexy tips for attracting men. An American Geisha is not a strict feminist, except in the world of work and career. In the world of love and romance, I suggest that you shift your perspective to that of a feminine-ist, a woman who values, loves, and wants to operate out of her femininity.

In a sense, in your work world you must insist upon being treated like “one of the boys,” treated equally with the men. However, in your personal world, you do not want to be one of the boys. You want to be very different from the boys, very feminine in contrast to their masculinity. Be a feminist while making a living, and be a feminine-ist while making (or seeking) love. As a feminist, compete fairly with men at work; then, come home and attract men to you as a feminine-ist.

As much as some feminists may have problems with me, I have no problems with feminists. All women need the feminist backbone that can allow them to be feminine without being weak or passive, to be nice without being taken advantage of. The American Geisha develops within herself a comfortable balance between feminist and feminine-ist qualities.

Py Kim Conant, Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man, Hunter House, October 28, 2006. Looking for relationship, dating and sex tips? Visit Py’s website at http://www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com

The first few dates seem always exciting and nervous with showing your best manner and characters…be polite to each other, follow the rules,…play games by the dating and relationship rules. But many times people don’t get the second date, or no more than three times going out. I always believe that meeting a new people is easier than keeping the relationship for long and fresh. Also I believe that getting married is much easier than staying married happily.

Either a woman (or a man) should be looking for information to help her/him to decide whether this particular date is what I call a "Good Man" (or "Good Woman"). This Good person has Four Fundamental Characteristics:

1. good values
2. awareness of what’s happening around them
3. a nice personality
4. happy and optimistic
The first impression applies to the first three dates. After the third date you know how to filter the person as a keeper.

What if your date tells you about her bad breakup with her ex, what if your date tells you about her mental problem, talks about her career problems. Look at the following situations that I would find some red flags based on the above characteristics:

• Forgot wallet = not very conscious and aware; perhaps careless
• Reveals dark secret = unhappy; not conscious of inappropriateness
• Says something offensive = bad values or not a nice person
In any of the above three situations, I could easily imagine that a woman's intuition might say, "I don't think this is worth pursuing." Always at least listen to and consider your intuition in making a decision about further dating.

I’m getting mentally excited at the mere prospect of writing these next paragraphs about a plan to help you get your weight under control and keep it under control. I feel so good to be at a beautiful weight (and to have stayed there for six years). I remember how bad I felt when I was fat. My excitement, though, is because I know that the American Geisha Weight Loss and Maintenance Plan (the “Geisha Plan”) can work for you, too.

Notice that I wrote in the last sentence that the plan can work for you. I didn’t write that it will work for you. Below, in bold type, appear two affirmations that I want you to read aloud enthusiastically and to believe totally. These statements, expressed sincerely and consistently, will begin to guarantee your success in reaching your most beautiful weight. Read them aloud:

* I want more than anything to be in love with and married to a Good Man within twelve to eighteen months.
* I care more about love and marriage to a Good Man than I do about food.

Right now, copy these two affirmations onto a piece of paper. It won’t take long; they’re short. Write neatly. Do it now! Thank you. Now post the affirmations on your refrigerator. Now and for years after you have lost your excess weight and married the Good Man you love, you will keep these affirmations on the fridge as a reminder and an inspiration to continue to stay conscious of your desire to maintain a beautiful weight.

For my married Younger Sisters or those in committed relationships, I suggest the following two, slightly revised affirmations. Read them aloud. Write them down on a piece of paper and post them on your fridge:

* I want more than anything to revitalize my marriage (relationship), beginning now.
* I care more about love and my marriage (relationship) than I do about food.

Py Kim Conant, Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man, Hunter House, October 28, 2006. Looking for relationship, dating and sex tips? Visit Py’s website at www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com

Do you have any special day to celebrate for your man such as his birthday? Or do you want to create your own day to expresses your love to your man? Do you want to pretend you are an American Geisha for one day? With my five tips, you can pretend you are going to celebrate in a sexy American Geisha’s way, a day you can worship your man. Surprise him and tell him that you want to be an American Geisha for him one day. Here are five romantic things you can do to please your man in and out of bed to celebrate.

• The secrets of female ejaculation: Rent the Japanese movie “Warm Water Under the Red Bridge,” in which a female ejaculator drives her man sexually crazy. While watching the video, ask him about how he thinks about female ejaculation and tell him that you want to experience this exciting moment.

• A hairless vagina: Shave your vagina/pubic hair totally naked or into a heart shape. Why does your hairless vagina make your man crazy about you and make him want you more? Men are hairier than women and often have quite hairy bodies. Heavy body hair is a masculine, yang, trait, not a feminine, yin, trait. Your now nearly hairless body is, generally, in stark contrast to the man’s larger, hairier body. Opposites do attract. Your man will love this difference and will feel himself to be a more masculine man, large and relatively hairy, while seeing you as a nearly hairless, feminine woman.

• Take your man’s special day order of what he wants in and out of bed. Not with kimono, but with an apron covering your bottom without underwear or bra, ask him what he wants from you in and out of bed. You might want to watch the movie “Memoirs of a Geisha” and get inspired by the Japanese geisha’s beauty, and sexy femininity.

• Buy one gift for both yourself and him: a vibrator or sexy silk lingerie or something you can use for sex. Wrap it nicely and give it to him with a nice note, saying, “Today is your night. I want to be your American Geisha. Love, Me.”

• Give credit to him verbally for your orgasm: Scream and come hard. Make him feel like a real man.

How would you celebrate your man tonight?