When you get to your most beautiful weight, you will automatically have an advantage in the competition for your Good Man. Why? Because at least 60 percent of other women are fat or obese and thus will likely be less attractive to most men. At your best weight you will not be invisible. Rather, you will draw his eyes to you because you will be so attractive.

Listen to what men told me about the importance of weight, especially as it relates to first attracting a man's interest:

"Body attraction is just as strong as, if not stronger than, facial."
"It's just initial physical attraction, nothing more."
"Usually the first impression is through someone's appearance."
"Young guys like a pretty face and a hot body."
"It takes a physical attraction to be interested in a woman."
"Most men are into looks only. Going on looks first is human nature."
"Men and women are definitely equal when it comes to how visual they are."
"The people who look the best are always the ones who have the easiest time finding partners to share life with. It has always been this way."
"Nowadays looks mean everything."
"I hear guys at work talking about women all the time, and the number-one thing you hear them say is, 'She is hot,' or, 'She is a dog.' It's all based on looks."
"Procreation in itself is a quick process and only requires physical attraction. This urge and need is in all of us."
"Physical attributes are definitely something which draws me to somebody or would compel me to speak to (her)."
"I run away from overweight girls all the time."
"While there is much more to a good relationship than physical aspects, the physical attraction is also a must for a relationship to last."
"Physical attraction is that crucial foot in the door. Then you can learn more."

To a lesser degree, women also acknowledged the importance of physical attractiveness:
"Yes, it's true. Men are visual."
"A man is turned off (by) an obese and unattractive woman. Being slim is a serious must."
"Men are always looking for the best-looking ladies to date. All they care about is a woman's look and hot body."

My strongest advice for you after your marriage is to keep the quality of your love relationship with your husband as your highest priority. Very importantly, share this article with your Good Man well before your marriage. Encourage him to make the same commitment to you. As a couple, promise to remain conscious of the quality of your relationship as the most important thing to you, individually and together.

It is too easy to allow the quality of your marriage to slip to a lower priority. Careers, friends, in-laws, children, and hobbies will all tug at your kimono sleeve to demand your time and attention. This is life. It is full of things other than your relationship that can command your focus. As an American Geisha, you have a more difficult undertaking than does the Asian Geisha, who can keep her clients as her highest priority because she does not marry or plan a family. You marry and want a family, yet you probably also have a job or even an engaging career that pulls your attention away from your relationship with your Good Man husband. Fight successfully to maintain an active love life. Stay beautiful and feminine. Always be nice to each other.

Even your children should be a second priority. They should come some distance behind your priority of maintaining a deep, mutual love relationship with your Good Man. Remember, as a psychologist once said, “The very best thing mothers or fathers can do for their children is to be actively, enthusiastically, and mutually in love with their spouses.”

Another part of keeping your marriage as your highest priority is to celebrate your anniversary. Make it a memorable day of renewal of your love and commitment to one another. Perhaps return to your honeymoon spot. Review your original wedding vows. Write new, updated vows. Stay excited about your mutual love.

* Never go to bed angry at each other. Forgive.
* Go to bed at the same time.
* Sleep in the same bed.
* Sleep naked, always.
* At least kiss and hug before you sleep, always.
* Always have good intentions toward your spouse in whatever you do. (I know I am repeating this one. It’s worth repeating.)
* Do things together.
* Be quiet together, comfortably.
* Feel fortunate and happy you found each other.
* Laugh together.

Arthur Golden’s 1997 book, Memoirs of a Geisha, and the 2005 movie it inspired, teased non-Asian women, making them curious about the beauty secrets and powerfully attractive qualities of geisha, of Japanese women, and perhaps of Asian women in general.

Many Japanese-inspired fashion and beauty products were introduced immediately before the movie reached the theaters. Coach offered a Japanese silk-and-mink kimono hobo bag. Cole Haan featured stiletto boots covered in antique Japanese silk. Banana Republic launched a limited-edition holiday collection inspired by the movie’s wardrobe, including a silk floral kimono sash-tie top, a quilted geisha bag, an Asian-style tassel necklace, and a satin kimono dress. Facial and body creams featured cherry-blossom-themed packaging and the same image of the movie’s star, Zhang Ziyi, that graced billboards, newspaper ads, and even the cover of a special edition of the book.

In late 2005 American women heard a lot about the Japanese geisha. Yet what relevance could the geisha have for American women beyond a book to read, a movie to watch, and some expensive boots to wear? My investigation into the history of the geisha in both Japan and Korea, combined with my research with over four hundred Asian and American single women and men, convinced me that the Asian Geisha (my term for the blending of the Japanese geisha and the Korean kisaeng) offers many lessons for American women who want to be married, soon, to their Good Men. The golden age of the Japanese geisha and her attitude toward men dates from 1841, when she was accorded by law the status of “entertainer” or “artist.”

In "Sex Secrets of an American Geisha" I have adapted Asian Geisha practices somewhat to fit twenty-first-century Western/American culture while continuing to emphasize the geisha’s performance or entertainment skills. In particular, I have upheld the concept of the Asian Geisha, as embodying the archetypes of beauty and femininity.

Py Kim Conant, Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man, Hunter House, October 28, 2006. Looking for relationship, dating and sex tips? Visit Py’s website at http://www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com

One way to make your Good Man feel good as a man is by giving him full credit for all of your orgasms and to do so sincerely and with enthusiasm. Remember that your Good Man always wants to feel appreciated by you, always wants to be your hero, your sexual Samurai warrior, especially regarding your orgasm and total sexual satisfaction and exhaustion.

Your Good Man will love you even more for any ways, sexual or nonsexual, that you make him feel good about himself. Essentially, every time you express appreciation for anything he does for you, he feels like a hero---a Samurai…, which makes him feel good as a man. Find ways (sincerely) to make him your Samurai. Even taking out the trash has "hero" potential. You ask him, "Sweetheart, could you take out the trash when you have a chance, please." Later, when you realize he’s taken the trash out, say to him, "Thank you, baby. That was so nice of you. I appreciate it." Now he can, and will, think of himself as just a little bit of a hero to his appreciative woman. Your Good Man wants to feel needed by you, important to you. When you let him k now that he is needed and is important, he feels so good as a man. He feels like a Samurai, a powerful warrior for his woman.

To keep your Good Man in love with you and energized in your relationship, do everything in your power to express sincere appreciation frequently to him so that you make him feel wonderful about himself. And the very best way to do that is to give away credit for your orgasm to him. Make him feel better and better about himself as a man. And he'll be so happy to see his Good Woman becoming more and more of an American Geisha, as you make him feel more and more like your sexual Samurai warrior.