Remember that your Good Man always wants to feel appreciated by you, always wants to be your hero, especially regarding your orgasm and total sexual satisfaction and exhaustion.

You might ask me about a situation involving a vibrator or other sex toy. "What do I do," you might ask, "if I come wonderfully hard, perhaps even female ejaculate, on my Good Man’s cxxk, fingers, or tongue (or the three in some combination), but added to the mix of what made me come was a fantastic little (or big) vibrator that drove my clitoris into ecstasy and, truth be told, was the proximate cause of my coming so hard and satisfyingly? Help", you might say,
"what should I do about credit in that case?"

This is an important question because I believe that vibrators (and dildos and other sex toys, but especially vibrators) should be on your bedside table and always well-charged and available for your lovemaking (not necessarily always used, but frequently). You want your Good Man to be comfortable with vibrators as you incorporate them into your sex life with him.

A while ago my husband suggested to me that the old saying about diamonds being a girl’s best friend was wrong, that the truth is that vibrators are a girl’s best friend. I had to agree with him that I’d give up my diamonds long before I’d part with my Pocket Rocket vibrator. You know from masturbating alone with a vibrator how wonderful they are as sex aids to bring you stimulation and orgasm. God, they’re fantastic!

What about credit for a vibrator-triggered orgasm? My answer is short, definitive, and covers all situations: “Never give credit to the plastic (or the rubber or the metal).” Instead, of course, always give full credit for your orgasm to your Good Man and his cxxk, fingers, or tongue. Although the vibrator will often (even most often, I should think) be there, in use, during lovemaking, it receives zero credit from you for your excitement and orgasm. “Flesh” always gets full credit; “plastic” always get zero credit. You don’t want your Good Man to feel that his cxxk is in competition with your vibrator. Your Good Man is your lover; the vibrator is only your (and his) friend.

Py Kim Conant, the author of Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man, Hunter House Publishers. Looking for relationship, dating and sex tips? Visit Py’s website at http://www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com

As an American Geisha, you have a more difficult undertaking than does the Asian Geisha, who can keep her clients as her highest priority because she does not marry or plan a family. You want to marry and want a family, yet you probably also have a job or even an engaging career that pulls your attention away from your relationship with your Good Man. Fight successfully to maintain an active love life. Stay beautiful and feminine. Always be nice to each other.

I want to suggest some “rules” for an American Geisha. Add whatever additional ones you like:

* Be enthusiastically available to your man whenever he wants you sexually.
* Be nice.
* Be sweet.
* Tell him directly what you are thinking. He misses subtle messages.
* Love to softly touch his penis when it’s not hard.
* Kiss and suck his penis without his asking. Exercise no restraint. Eat it all!
* Tell your friends positive things about your husband, and believe them.
* Stay beautiful.
* Be assertive about what you need and want, including sexually.
* Be soft and feminine with your husband.
* Make your relationship, not your individual needs, your highest priority.
* Find ways to make him your hero.
* Always respect your man, be he rich or poor, C.E.O. or day laborer.
* Don’t try to fix his problems unless he asks for help.
* Don’t compare your husband’s income, penis, or job title to those of your friends’ husbands or of your ex—unless your man’s is bigger.
* Have good intentions. When you trust each other’s good intentions, there is no anger, even when mistakes are made.
* Learn to be assertive and direct yet kind and noncritical in your communications.
* Don’t ask him about his masturbation fantasies, and don’t be jealous of them.
* Consider telling him about your masturbation fantasies involving woman’s rock-hard nipples (or other lesbian fantasies).
* Let him watch you masturbate.
* Watch him masturbate (and participate a little).

As an American Geisha, you have a more difficult undertaking than does the Asian Geisha, who can keep her clients as her highest priority because she does not marry or plan a family. You want to marry and want a family, yet you probably also have a job or even an engaging career that pulls your attention away from your relationship with your Good Man. Fight successfully to maintain an active love life. Stay beautiful and feminine. Always be nice to each other.

I want to suggest some “rules” for an American Geisha. Add whatever additional ones you like:

* Be enthusiastically available to your man whenever he wants you sexually.
* Be nice.
* Be sweet.
* Tell him directly what you are thinking. He misses subtle messages.
* Love to softly touch his penis when it’s not hard.
* Kiss and suck his penis without his asking. Exercise no restraint. Eat it all!
* Tell your friends positive things about your husband, and believe them.
* Stay beautiful.
* Be assertive about what you need and want, including sexually.
* Be soft and feminine with your husband.
* Make your relationship, not your individual needs, your highest priority.
* Find ways to make him your hero.
* Always respect your man, be he rich or poor, C.E.O. or day laborer.
* Don’t try to fix his problems unless he asks for help.
* Don’t compare your husband’s income, penis, or job title to those of your friends’ husbands or of your ex—unless your man’s is bigger.
* Have good intentions. When you trust each other’s good intentions, there is no anger, even when mistakes are made.
* Learn to be assertive and direct yet kind and noncritical in your communications.
* Don’t ask him about his masturbation fantasies, and don’t be jealous of them.
* Consider telling him about your masturbation fantasies involving woman’s rock-hard nipples (or other lesbian fantasies).
* Let him watch you masturbate.
* Watch him masturbate (and participate a little).

* Wear your wedding ring 24/7.
* Be nice.
* Do household chores before she asks.
* Let her go out with her girlfriends and occasionally stay overnight with them.
* Let her have a weekend trip with her girlfriends.
* Let her know you cherish and love her.
* Call her at work just to say “I love you.”
* Listen to her problems without seeking solutions.
* Phone home if you will be late.
* Send her flowers at work so she can get them in front of her coworkers.
* Send a love letter to her workplace.
* Show your affection by kissing and hugging in front of her friends.
* Tell her often, “You’re beautiful,” and that you love her.
* Brag to your male friends about your wife; tell her you’ve done so.
* Make your relationship, not your job or career, your highest priority.
* Don’t spend too much time on the newspaper, the TV, or your buddies.
* Buy her perfume that you like.
* Place a picture of her (at least one) in your office or work space.

Every day, kiss and verbally express your love; touch and make love frequently. An American Geisha knows that both men and women need, enjoy, and appreciate frequent reassurance that they are loved and physically desired. You two can never reassure each other of these things too many times. It is never too often or too soon to say to your lover:

I love you.
I like who you are.
You make me so happy.
I’m so glad I found you.
I’m so lucky to have met you.
You have a beautiful body.
You’re the only one I could ever love.
You get more beautiful every day (him to you).
You are so beautiful (him to you).
You are such a good lover (you to him).
You’re so nice (good, sweet) to me.
I love being alone with you.
I’m so glad you are in my life.
You’re always so supportive of me.
You’re such a good woman (man).