Arthur Golden’s 1997 book, Memoirs of a Geisha, and the 2005 movie it inspired, teased non-Asian women, making them curious about the beauty secrets and powerfully attractive qualities of geisha, of Japanese women, and perhaps of Asian women in general.

Many Japanese-inspired fashion and beauty products were introduced immediately before the movie reached the theaters. Coach offered a Japanese silk-and-mink kimono hobo bag. Cole Haan featured stiletto boots covered in antique Japanese silk. Banana Republic launched a limited-edition holiday collection inspired by the movie’s wardrobe, including a silk floral kimono sash-tie top, a quilted geisha bag, an Asian-style tassel necklace, and a satin kimono dress. Facial and body creams featured cherry-blossom-themed packaging and the same image of the movie’s star, Zhang Ziyi, that graced billboards, newspaper ads, and even the cover of a special edition of the book.

In late 2005 American women heard a lot about the Japanese geisha. Yet what relevance could the geisha have for American women beyond a book to read, a movie to watch, and some expensive boots to wear? My investigation into the history of the geisha in both Japan and Korea, combined with my research with over four hundred Asian and American single women and men, convinced me that the Asian Geisha (my term for the blending of the Japanese geisha and the Korean kisaeng) offers many lessons for American women who want to be married, soon, to their Good Men. The golden age of the Japanese geisha and her attitude toward men dates from 1841, when she was accorded by law the status of “entertainer” or “artist.”

In "Sex Secrets of an American Geisha" I have adapted Asian Geisha practices somewhat to fit twenty-first-century Western/American culture while continuing to emphasize the geisha’s performance or entertainment skills. In particular, I have upheld the concept of the Asian Geisha, as embodying the archetypes of beauty and femininity.

Py Kim Conant, Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man, Hunter House, October 28, 2006. Looking for relationship, dating and sex tips? Visit Py’s website at http://www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com

One way to make your Good Man feel good as a man is by giving him full credit for all of your orgasms and to do so sincerely and with enthusiasm. Remember that your Good Man always wants to feel appreciated by you, always wants to be your hero, your sexual Samurai warrior, especially regarding your orgasm and total sexual satisfaction and exhaustion.

Your Good Man will love you even more for any ways, sexual or nonsexual, that you make him feel good about himself. Essentially, every time you express appreciation for anything he does for you, he feels like a hero---a Samurai…, which makes him feel good as a man. Find ways (sincerely) to make him your Samurai. Even taking out the trash has "hero" potential. You ask him, "Sweetheart, could you take out the trash when you have a chance, please." Later, when you realize he’s taken the trash out, say to him, "Thank you, baby. That was so nice of you. I appreciate it." Now he can, and will, think of himself as just a little bit of a hero to his appreciative woman. Your Good Man wants to feel needed by you, important to you. When you let him k now that he is needed and is important, he feels so good as a man. He feels like a Samurai, a powerful warrior for his woman.

To keep your Good Man in love with you and energized in your relationship, do everything in your power to express sincere appreciation frequently to him so that you make him feel wonderful about himself. And the very best way to do that is to give away credit for your orgasm to him. Make him feel better and better about himself as a man. And he'll be so happy to see his Good Woman becoming more and more of an American Geisha, as you make him feel more and more like your sexual Samurai warrior.

In circulating chapters of my manuscript, "Sex Secrets of an American Geisha," for feedback, I sometimes was told that my advice made a woman too "submissive" to a man or to men generally. I can understand that point of view, but I disagree with it. My advice simply accepts the truth about (most) men:

* Men are visual and love beauty in a woman.
* Men are sexual and love sexiness in a woman.
* Men are masculine and love femininity in a woman.

By making yourself beautiful, sexy, and feminine for potential Good Men, you are only "being submissive" or "surrendering" to the realities of men and women and to what can help you attract those Good Men to you. I don't want to be too defensive here. In fact, rather than making you submissive, I believe my advice empowers you.

Beauty and a sexy femininity tend to give a woman confidence, more power, and greater control in finding love and marriage with a Good Man. Isn't this obvious to you? Don't you sense how beauty and a sexy femininity are your allies, your friends in seeking the happiness of love and marriage to a Good Man?

Go on a Fun and Exciting—Even Outrageous—Journey

The whole process of finding and marrying a man and then keeping your marriage alive and happy should be a fun experience. (Why do people think that it is so difficult to find a man, not just any man, but Mr. Right, your Prince Charming, a near-perfect-for-you man, a husband, your Good Man?) Do you want to have an enjoyable and exciting time or a difficult time finding your man? It depends on your attitude. I suggest we go on a fun and exciting—even outrageous—journey to attract appropriate men and then to choose and to keep your one Good Man for life.

The journey begins right here, as you read this page. Get ready to be outrageous! Relax. Loosen your bra straps and get ready for some feminine, hot, sexy Asian secrets for finding, marrying, and keeping your Good Man. Get ready to become an American Geisha.

I sometimes speak in a politically incorrect way. I have to be honest, frank, even outrageous with you. I can’t try to cover my little ass, saying politically correct things so that no one gets upset. I am not politically correct, but I am practically correct, suggesting you to do what works, what is practical, what makes you more beautiful, sexy, and feminine in order to attract and keep your own masculine Good Man.

I’ve dealt approvingly with some Asian Geisha stereotypes if I found them helpful. I’ve told you to be thin not fat, pretty not plain, accepting not confrontational. I’ve told you that in relationships men are simple, visual, sexual beings who do most anything to make you happy when you make them sexually happy.
Even as I have happily accepted some useful stereotypes of Asian Geisha and other women, if other stereotypes are not useful, I encouraged you to ignore or change them in your thinking or actions, as I did.

Still, some strict feminists have questioned my outrageous ideas and feminine and sexy tips for attracting men. An American Geisha is not a strict feminist, except in the world of work and career. In the world of love and romance, I suggest that you shift your perspective to that of a feminine-ist, a woman who values, loves, and wants to operate out of her femininity.

In a sense, in your work world you must insist upon being treated like “one of the boys,” treated equally with the men. However, in your personal world, you do not want to be one of the boys. You want to be very different from the boys, very feminine in contrast to their masculinity. Be a feminist while making a living, and be a feminine-ist while making (or seeking) love. As a feminist, compete fairly with men at work; then, come home and attract men to you as a feminine-ist.

As much as some feminists may have problems with me, I have no problems with feminists. All women need the feminist backbone that can allow them to be feminine without being weak or passive, to be nice without being taken advantage of. The American Geisha develops within herself a comfortable balance between feminist and feminine-ist qualities.

Py Kim Conant, Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man, Hunter House, October 28, 2006. Looking for relationship, dating and sex tips? Visit Py’s website at http://www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com